Becca in Swing

This picture was taken in Dec. 2008 by my friend Alison. She uploaded it to her facebook page, Emily tagged it so now it's with my pictures. I love this picture of Boo. I find myself going to my facebook page just to look at it. (never occurred to me to save it and put it here or print & frame it. which I'm going to do.) Becca's first year was tough. Her first 4 months were down right awful. Her constant crying, not sleeping & more crying, and the guilt of "what have I done. We had 2 happy, easy kids and I ruined our lives by wanting one more" was bad. I had baby blues and lack of sleep and crying were only making it worse. My thoughts were dark at times and I cry now thinking back. I will never forget the relief I felt when I found the reason for her crying. Then the dread of what that meant for me and her. I gave up all milk and continued nursing. After 2 months, the crying had stopped, but the eczema and blood in her stool remained. Her GI doctor had me stop nursing and put her on special formula that did wonders in a short amount of time. Now I am careful about what I feed her and we all have adjusted our eating habits for Becca and for the better. (you really don't need butter or cheese on veggies) There are tough times when people are eating something yummy (cupcakes) and she can't have one, but for the most part, her life is normal. She is thriving in spite of her allergy.

When I look at this picture, I get teary eyed. I love her so deeply. I think about the joy she has brought all of us. I see the funny, smart, sweet kid she is becoming. I am simply happy to be her mother.